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re: Funny Joke
by Groggums on Tue Feb 25, 2014 12:36 pm
I know the subheading says no politics... but this isn't really meant to be taken seriously, but if you want me to remove it I understand! No offence meant.
TWO COWS ~{Matthias Varga}
SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds. You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive...
_________________ Bahzinga
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re: Funny Joke
by Hafwen Elfling on Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:52 pm
haha! We had that one going around here, but instead of French it read Quebec, and they whined about only getting two cows before they rioted.
_________________ To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential. - Anonymous Hafwen/Honeyjoe; Fashionista.
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MaegilthalionOfficer / Donator Explorer
Joined: 28 Oct 2011 Posts: 398
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re: Funny Joke
by Maegilthalion on Tue Feb 25, 2014 5:07 pm
LMAO, I think you poked fun at about all of them, so all looks even from here.
Oh, it's not my fault if your car blows up....
lol
Maeg.
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FrupoMember Wanderer
Joined: 10 Apr 2009 Posts: 25
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re: Funny Joke
by Frupo on Wed Feb 26, 2014 8:42 am
I laughed moooshively through out reading this, any udder similar jokes you can share Grogg or have you milked this one for all its worth already?
I'll get my coat.................
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re: Funny Joke
by Hafwen Elfling on Wed Feb 26, 2014 8:49 am
haha you two crack me up.
_________________ To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential. - Anonymous Hafwen/Honeyjoe; Fashionista.
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re: Funny Joke
by Groggums on Wed Feb 26, 2014 4:55 pm
Frupo you are being udderly ridiculous and the steaks are high but now just creaming it... but you are very amoosing... i would carry on but id butter not...
_________________ Bahzinga
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MaegilthalionOfficer / Donator Explorer
Joined: 28 Oct 2011 Posts: 398
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re: Funny Joke
by Maegilthalion on Sun Mar 09, 2014 6:39 pm
medium rare for me please!
Maeg
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