MysticGypsy
Pippin's AmuseMent
Pippins Secret Diary
DAY ONE
Was out pilfering vegetables when bumped into Sam and
Frodo. Had a nice little roll around with Frodo in corn before was forcibly
removed by Sam. Must have word with Frodo about letting servants get overly
familiar and grabby.
Fell down hill. Merry v. disappointed that he broke
his carrot. After he found one that was just the right shape, too.
DAY
TWO
V. nice in Rivendell. Sick of rooming with Sam though.
Constantly sopping wet and reeking of strawberries. Also tired of elves
mistaking me for unusually lifelike lawn ornament.
DAY THREE
Joined
Fellowship of Ring for a lark. Everyone v. nice except Legolas seems a bit
testy. Yesterday held me upside down over crevasse until I admitted he was the
prettiest elf in the Fellowship. Did not feel like pointing out he was only elf
in Fellowship, as crevasse was very deep.
DAY SEVEN
Has
been twenty-five days since met Aragorn and he has not yet washed his hair. Is
really starting to bother me.
DAY NINE
Sam all wrong about
Boromir. Really very nice man. Invited me to go for a walk with him tonight and
said he would let me blow his Horn of Gondor. Can’t wait.
Later that
night
Always thought blowing the Horn of Gondor was supposed to
summon armies of the West?
Apparently not.
V. educational, all
the same.
DAY ELEVEN
V. dark in mines of Moria. Still sort
of a relief as means Boromir cannot corner me and complain how Aragorn is
insensitive, stuck up git with hobbit fixation. Pot calling kettle black if you
ask me. Aragorn obviously way into Frodo, however. Sam will kill him if he tries
anything.
DAY THIRTEEN
Caught Legolas waxing soles of
Aragorn’s boots, thus explaining why Aragorn keeps collapsing into his arms.
Tricky elf.
Aragorn still hasn’t washed his hair.
DAY FOURTEEN
Gandalf dead. Everyone morose. In attempt to cheer up Fellowship,
Legolas took off all his clothes and performed scenes from Silmarillion: The
Musical. Everyone still morose. Legolas ponced off to have 3,000-year-old
elf prince sulk.
DAY FIFTEEN
Lothlorien v. pretty.
Accidentally walked in on Gimli taking a bath. Now understand what Gandalf meant
about there being scarier things than Orcs. And was that Aragorn hiding under
all the bubbles? May have nightmares for weeks.
DAY SIXTEEN
Aragorn washed his hair. Hurrah.
Maybe it really was him
under all the bubbles.
DAY TWENTY
Boromir wrote me a poem.
Merry says I am leading him on. Of course, Merry also says I cry like a girl.
Merry a total bastard most of the time, actually.
Poem not very good. Did
not rhyme. Feel slighted.
DAY THIRTY
Told Boromir I did
not feel ready to commit, so he went and got himself shot by Orcs. Honestly.
Humans so oversensitive sometimes.
Have been kidnapped by Uruk-hai. Not
very friendly types. Merry says we may have to shag our way out of captivity.
Suspect Merry looking forward to it, useless wassock. Orcs v. smelly. Suddenly
miss Boromir.
by MysticGypsy on 2012-07-05 03:48:57